Back after a long hiatus. i dun exactly rmb when my last post was or what i wrote. Things are quite crappy now.. its nearing the A's and i'm still failing my subjects like mad. And i'm not helping myself either.. recently discovered bs and kept surfing around window shopping x/ I mean like, i have tonnes of time to do this rubbish after my exams right? And its not even that far off... what another few months to freedom and unrestrained shopping? I've gone mad lah, priorities totally screwed up. Less than one month, 5 subjects and the need to jump grades, quick. I feel at a total loss as to how i'm going to accomplish this herculean task. Its not like i don't have tuition. Its super embarrassing to tell ppl i have tuition for half my subjects and yet still rotting in a stagnant pool. And yes, i know, i havent been putting in enough effort. but effort=progress?

you know what? No more excuses from me. from now on, all websites banned. com only for work purposes. Time to get cracking and plan a timetable. AND STICK TO IT. wth, i've just burned almost my entire wkend, chucking aside my schedule, which was so nicely planned and had so many ambitious hopes of studying extra stuff. now, even the most basic stuff, the hw cant be finished. not even started! and yes, i can say, well, what the heck, its my birthday! enjoy first right. but no, it doesnt feel all that special to me and i actually DID want to get cracking and get my assignments done. But i just knowingly let time fly by, ignoring the 3s and 4s and 6s as they increased and telling myself "soon". ... ... ... I feel damn guilty.

and some people are so showing attitude. freaking irritating! Don't think you're so smart, trying to lord over me when you have a thick skull man. Making it sound like i'm desperate for ur entertainment and for painting such a sorry state of yourself and making others small. I restrained myself from giving u a scolding and i bit back my sarcasm. So don't think i'm stupid. I don't know what to think of you, because on one hand the way you're behaving could be because you're feeling damn emo and everythings lousy for u. but still, it doesnt mean u can vent your frustration on people. Go kick your own ass or sth, but not me.

Anw, on a lighter note, my bday was q alright tdy. Note i didn't say fantastical or fantabulous. Just, normal,expected stuff. Imagine decades more of this. But yeah, even so, i shouldnt be taking all this for granted cos i'm lucky that i have all these blessings on my birthday and decades more of this shoudlnt be a drone affair but something i should be thankful for. The years i have lived, the experiences i have and the simple fact that that are people who care for me. Yep, thanks to all those ppl who wished me and the presents too. And my parents for all their efforts.

And i don't really care about people who are not close to me singing me birthday songs. Its just the normal societal protocol. birthday? bring out the song! Doesnt really mean much eh. and i'm disappointed with some people.. hmm. I dunno what to say or think, forgetting my bday and all. I guess we're just safety buoys or floats to each other.

Aiya, okay. im super sian for a reason. i think its the schwork. hmm. okay. i shant drone on any longer. k bye.



Lord i need wisdom. help me.