Demoralising. Got back my GP essay today and i was utterly disappointed and shocked at the marks i got, which i daresay is the lousiest mark i ever got for GP. so shameful. :/

But no matter.
I'll put it behind me and take a proactive role in improving my grades.
I won't sit back and lament or feel discouraged anymore.

S U M O

shut up and move on.

I am totally stoned.
One thing i should really make a habit: Sleep early.
I've realised the importance of being fresh and awake.
And in order for this to happen,
I will do my homework w/o procrastination.

i have to work hard, no other choice. Must remind myself that.
And leave everything else to take care of itself for now.

I need some exercise.
Feel seriously dead.
And dull.
not sure if its inborn, though.
Maybe exercise is just an excuse.
Since i never get down to doing much of it,
that would 'explain' why i'm not sharp/oxygenated enough.

I like how some people are able to lift your spirits up
with just a word or two,
that doesn't sound cliched
or contrived
that makes you feel really good about yourself.
pity.

I feel like some people are having an attitude change now.
Rolling eyes
Exasperated looks
and patience wearing thin.
You're so keen to jump ship.
Forgotten, forsaken.
Sidelined.
But its alright,
9 months left.
I can handle it. I'll try.

I feel so numb nowadays.
Have i grown too accustomed to things
as they are?
Is that good?
Its a tight fit for self-improvement.

I know that somewhere deep inside
there's this well of pain,
deep-red,
raw.
But frosted glass now lays over it,
caging it in.
Maybe that'll help me cope.
Maybe one day I'll shatter when it breaks.

The vines of my thoughts twist and wrap
around each other,
a mess.
The foliage gives me shelter,
but in the undergrowth,
the dank damp soil is a breeding ground
for things that feed on
me



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Goodnight mr moon.