For ME lesson today we were to surf the web for inspirational quotes and use that to write a note of encouragement (for the upcoming exams) on a post card to give to someone we don't know very well (i.e. someone outside your own clique). i sat there surfing the web till the time was up.. dunno who to give to. but more so because i couldnt find good quotes! anw, in the end, i received 3 post cards. note: having that many post cards aren't a very good sign eh. I think people think i lead a sad life or something. They seemed q nice, judging from the words they said, but then again you can't really tell cos i myself always try to exaggerate when i write such stuff as well.

One person said 'i don't know u very well bla bla, but if u ever need a listening ear, i'm here'. another extolled the goodness of being quiet, but the last line said 'but there's a difference between being quiet and distancing yourself'. And i think to myself, since when have i distanced myself? hmm... isn't it inevitable to appear aloof and disconnected from people if you're quiet, extremely quiet. besides, not like you've ever talked to me. ya lah, some people can't open up to such a big group of people right.

I was a bit offended at first.. who actually likes to know that people notice your social awkwardness, esp when you try to act normally, right ? but then i realise that they really don't mean any of those horrible undertones.. well, not in a mean way at least. So well... i'll just accept it. that they don't knw me any better or sth.

I dunno, i think i'm having some inner conflict now. i can't straighten out my thoughts. which is a perennial problem anyway. i shouldnt be too fan-ed with it. but i cant help thinking i'm like that sad case of a army officer tt my brother knows of who processes information so slowly that his speech is super slow and retard-ish. Makes me think that its highly possible he also has messed up thoughts in his head. those 2 problems sound like what i'm experiencing. and to make things worse... my bro said that there was once he wore some magnetic chip on his temple... and when the ns ppl asked him about it, he said, "Ah-h-h... this one.. to...help think-ing abit fast-er." WAH, can faint right. well, apparently it doesnt work in case anyone feels like trying it. i don't want to be like him when i reach middle age. i already think i'm on the route to it. X/

anyway, i found this quote:

Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.
–Plato

maybe i'm the fool, cos even though i have nothing to say (which applies when in contact with people im not comfortable with), i feel the need to say something. but then again, i don't actually spout anything.. i'm like silent all the time. cos i have nothing to say. i don't speak unless i DO have sth i want to contribute. so maybe i'm wise :)

i want to be as wise as soloman