HEYA! i'm back. it's been so long.. so many things have happened. :D

church camp was really really good this year! even though its too short... so fast its over! its like, satisfying cos it was a really good camp, but at the same time, there's not enough!! rahh.. but i really did feel God's presence.. yup. felt like he was really close to my heart. a very nice feeling really. and it was still lingering on after the camp. the camp was awesome mann! can really feel the love on the last day. omg. i just feel like i've seen a different side to friendship. :)

I feel quite sad.. that was like, the last church camp we're ever gonna attend ever! as a cath class. imagine tt.

-sigh-

it's all over now. back to school. what a chore.

And i can't concentrate in school, my school work etc. i'm like so heck-careing o levels. HAHA, maybe not. for now only. bleagh... but seriously, i miss camp and the times we had together. even if i didnt talk to most people and my presence is probably very insignificant and who am i to say such things about feeling the love and being bonded and stuff... the few people who made me feel like i belong and AM LOVED, seriously, touches me.

oh my, and i never expected to find another person just like me in terms of guts! hahaha.... turns out mel is like OVERLY-PARANOID of..um,things. it was very.... like, getting to know your twin you never knew. not that i'm saying we're like twins (FAR from it). it's just like, hey! you, me, SAME! haha.

now that i think of it, i really do LOVE the camp, my friends and even those classmates i've never ever spoken to ever in my life before. love is a really broad word, so yeah. (ok, whats my point? :/ whtever it is, i mean it in a good way.)


Right now, i'm just thinking.. I really really really should open up more. be more free with my actions, give away smiles willingly and be more comfortable in my own skin! haha. yeah.. and talk to people i've not talked to before. it's a really tough thing for me since i tend to clam up so tightly its hard to pry me open with people i don't know very well.


all i can say is, i'll need God's help. if he wants to help? which i think he does. :) umm...yeah. like put me in some human-warmer thing to defrost me, i guess.


have i mentioned that the warmness of the sunlight on you feels really good? nvm off topic. but seriously it does. people who like cold weather are nuts. X/ nvm.

Mm.... just need to let God take control of my life i guess? and maybe things will turn out smoother and for the better good of, well, things.


and friendship is such a strong thing. i think. i'm a little skeptical still, to be truthful. but at least i see a possibility in it. :D


yay.ok. i'm off to do my essay comp! GAHH, my mum just came back. if she knows i havent started................ well, another nagging session. oh man.